Two of the most negative influences connected with clutter and disorganization are blame and shame. Recently, a gentleman approached me after noticing my personalized license plate – ORGNIZR . “Are you a union organizer?” he asked. I chuckled and explained that my company specializes in organizing any and all physical space in homes and businesses.
“Oh, my gosh, do I need you!” he exclaimed. He then pointed to a woman peering into a large blue dumpster. “That’s my partner,” he said. “She’s a hoarder and I can’t live with all the stuff she brings home, so once or twice a year I try to get rid of stuff. “ He had no sooner finished talking when the woman in question cried out to him, “Honey, would you please help me get that Andrew Wile book? I can’t reach it.” He immediately complied with her request.
This man blamed his partner for making their home unlivable; she, in turn, felt shame for her addiction to collecting and hoarding. But, as I found out later, the woman didn’t even have a driver’s license. Without his aiding and abetting, she would have been hard-pressed to gather up the stuff and bring it home in the first place.
This is an extreme case. Most of the blaming and shaming goes on in ordinary homes with too much clutter. These are the all-too-common comments that I hear: “My husband (or wife) is the packrat, not me. If I had my way, I’d get rid of everything,” and “I need your help, but I don’t want you to see my house.”
Whether the reason for staying stuck is shame or blame, the results are the same. Negative energy prevails and soon permeates your living and working space. Another year goes by and the house, the garage, the office remain unchanged; the clutter untouched; and, the internal and external conflicts unresolved.
Today – here and now – resolve to put blame and shame in the past. Uncover the space you have lost and make peace with yourself and the people you love.